Eggs…from hell!

That’s what I think Deviled Eggs should be called anyway. Much cooler. But even with the current name, they seem to be everywhere on countrified New York menus these days. Though you can pick up a common hard-boiled egg for about 75 cents at most bodegas, add a dash of the devil and the price can shoot up to upward of $4 for one egg. People, let me tell you, you can make these at home. And with the apocalypse apparently just around the corner, there is no time like the present to try it out.  Dazzle your friends with your culinary skills, and given current deviled egg rates on the market, you might as well be serving caviar.

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Start with a good egg. And by that I don’t mean the cheapest thing available, served up in blue styrofoam containers. If you think boiling an egg is going to impress anyone, you’ll probably need one that lived for awhile inside a happy hen. I miss the beautiful Cotswold Legbar eggs I used to get at Waitrose (they looked just like easter eggs) but anything fresh (and free range if you can) will do.

Ease your eggs gently into some boiling water. Let them sit there stewing until they count as hard-boiled. (No femme fatale necessary). Pour out the hot water and run some cold water over your eggs. This will make them easier to touch and help with the peeling.

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I’m sure you’ve peeled an egg before, right? Just in case you just looked sheepish and said “no,” just take your egg and tap it gently on a hard surface, moving the egg around to tap all sides. You’ll get some breaks without smashing your egg and this will facilitate peeling.

Now take your nice peeled eggs and put them in a bowl. Rinse them again in case you weren’t that careful and left any shells clinging to the egg.
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Cut each egg in half and carefully dig out the yolks. Put those in a separate bowl.
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This is where the magic happens. Take a few dollops of mayonnaise, some salt, some pepper, and a squeeze of lemon juice and add this to your yolks. I like to add a dab of mustard and some fresh green onions if I have good ones, but you can improvise to your own tastes. Keep mashing and make sure you add enough creamy ingredients until it looks something like this:

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Lay out all your empty egg white halves on a platter and get ready to fill them.

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Put a heaping spoonful of creamy enhanced yolk in each egg. Once your platter is ready, sprinkle cayenne pepper over the whole thing (This I think is where the deviling comes in). Garnish with parsley, chives, or whatever springy green you have laying around.

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This is a great time to make a joke about chickens and eggs. Eggs in the city? In a perfect meal, the egg comes first, followed by chicken (fried).

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